What Makes Pasta So Sexual?

What Makes Pasta So Sexual?

So I had previously writtenan article about how I wanted my Tupperware back.  I still haven’t gotten it back, but that’s not the point.  In that article, I touched upon the fact that I had taken some heat for spending time with my co-worker outside of work.  This got even worse when news of Pastagate broke.

What were we supposed to do?  Starve?  Get charged a fortune for delivery?  Why would we do either of those things when I can cook the shit out of some pasta.  My go-to pasta dish is this recipe I made up.  Grab a pan, throw in some olive oil, Buffalo Wild Wings parmesan garlic sauce, a couple links of chourico, sprinkle with salt, pepper, crushed red pepper, then throw it on some pasta and you’re a fucking hero.

When someone at work overheard the words “That pasta you made last night was really good” a firestorm was created.  But why?  What makes pasta so sexual?

1. Lady and the Tramp

lady and the tramp

The famous pasta kissing scene.  Somehow this movie ended up being rated G.  Which is ridiculous, because after you watch this scene, you know they went home and banged.  Most likely doggy-style.

2. Prego


“Prego” is slang for pregnant.  If your girl is cooking and you see that Prego jar on the counter, she’s giving you the green light to pull the goalie and not pull out.

3. It is a phallic symbol


Penne sounds like it could be the French word for penis.  Macaroni looks like a semi-erect dick.  And meatballs? Come on.

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