State of the Union: Impaired Insights Is Falling Apart

State of the Union: Impaired Insights Is Falling Apart

Nate: A workhorse who does nothing wrong.  Only tries to lead this company to greatness, but has difficulty doing so because he is dragged down by dead-weight.  Even passes up on handjobs to get to company meetings on time.

 

Papa: Too busy to write because he is out bringing borderline-underage girls to get ice cream.

 

Floyd: Goes completely manic when he has 3 Pepsi’s and is mad that his black girlfriend got all hot and bothered over my ass eating article.

 

Spentzer: Employed by this company but is afraid to publish one of his shitty articles.

 

Michaels: I love this guy.  Can’t get enough of him.  Kid is a character.

 

Fonz: Fat.

 

elbowjumpshot: Don’t even think he works for us anymore.  Was fired by Floyd during a manic episode.

 

Tony Tone: This guy doesn’t work for us, but he’s our biggest fan so I figured I’d give him a shout-out.  Might even bring him on-board to write a couple articles if he’s interested.  The ball’s in your court Tone.

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