Planet Fitness Has Their Members By The Balls

Planet Fitness Has Their Members By The Balls

I’ve been eating a lot of buffalo chicken dip lately, so I’ve gained a few pounds.  I realized I needed to get a gym membership to maintain my lean physique so I took a trip to Planet Fitness.

I walk in and they’re having a fucking pizza party.  16 pizzas stacked on a table in the lobby.

I go to the counter to inquire about a membership and I ask, “Why are you guys serving pizza?”

“It’s Monday.”

No shit.  I own a calendar.  “But why?”

“Because it’s Monday.  Pizza Mondays.  Bagel Tuesdays.”

I walked out because FUCK THAT.  Fatten me up like a pig so I have to keep coming back to work it off?  That’s entrapment.  It’s like when girls purposely forget to take their birth control pill in an attempt to get a ring put on their finger but then their man leaves and they’re left to raise their child on their own like a fool.

But yeah.  Planet Fitness?  Fuck that.  I’ll go to Work Out World.

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