I’ve been eating a lot of buffalo chicken dip lately, so I’ve gained a few pounds. I realized I needed to get a gym membership to maintain my lean physique so I took a trip to Planet Fitness.
I walk in and they’re having a fucking pizza party. 16 pizzas stacked on a table in the lobby.
I go to the counter to inquire about a membership and I ask, “Why are you guys serving pizza?”
No shit. I own a calendar. “But why?”
“Because it’s Monday. Pizza Mondays. Bagel Tuesdays.”
I walked out because FUCK THAT. Fatten me up like a pig so I have to keep coming back to work it off? That’s entrapment. It’s like when girls purposely forget to take their birth control pill in an attempt to get a ring put on their finger but then their man leaves and they’re left to raise their child on their own like a fool.
But yeah. Planet Fitness? Fuck that. I’ll go to Work Out World.